i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
