My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
