sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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