i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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