her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
