Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
