He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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