New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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