When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
