He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
