You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
