Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I lost the right to judge tonight
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
