I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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