God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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