hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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