opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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