I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have post one night stand depression
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
