he shaved USA in his pubs
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
