***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
