Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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