I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When are your genitals available?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
