Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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