Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
