Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I love you. Go after that dick
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
