Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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