My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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