I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
