In the future we'll all be gay
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
