He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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