I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
