I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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