ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
