no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
