No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
As shirtless as possible
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
