You're completely useless in the revolution.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
All the doctor said was why
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
