anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
