I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
