fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
