Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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