Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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