There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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