Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
