OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
