is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
