I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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