oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
