My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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