omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize