i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
