My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
