When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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