He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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